Faculty Off The Clock

Faculty Off The Clock - Featuring Thomas Spade

• Chris • Season 1 • Episode 5

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What happens when faculty step away from the classroom and the lab? In this episode of Faculty Off the Clock, we sit down with Professor Thomas Spade to explore the passions, pursuits, and pastimes that shape their life beyond academia. From unexpected hobbies to meaningful side projects, discover a different side of the faculty you thought you knew. Produced by Michael Overholt.

SPEAKER_01

We welcome you to this episode of Faculty Off the Clock, a podcast series hosted by the College of Charleston's Office of the Provost that highlights the personal and lighter sides of our campus's professors. And we're joined by also by Jesse Kunz, who is the sound engineer for this podcast. I'm Mark Del Mastro.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm Chris Corey, Associate Provost, senior hosts of Faculty Off the Clock. For this episode, we welcome Professor Thomas Spade, Senior Instructor of Accounting in the School of Business. Thomas, welcome. Thank you for having me. So uh most of this is going to be about what you do off the clock, but we wanted to get a sense of how you got to the C of C in your current position before we dive into the other stuff.

SPEAKER_05

So yes, how was it that I have come to arrive here? I guess is what we are asking. So how it's an interesting story. And it all started many years ago when I was working as a certified public accountant at a firm which is now the Washington, D.C. Metro office of Forvis, the regional accounting firm. I was on the fast track, if you will, to make a partner, and then I realized I hated living in Washington. Now I am the son of a fourth-generation Charleston girl. I wanted to come home. So I decided to come home. Unfortunately for me, the state of South Carolina said, nice Virginia CPA license. You can use it to line your birdcage until you go back to school and get 30 more credit hours. Because at the time that you sat for the exam, we required 150 hours, and you with your minuscule 120 hours, that wasn't gonna cut it. So go back to school, get 30 more hours. So I came here to the College of Charleston, and I'm a graduate of our Masters of Science and Accountancy program, which by the way is awesome. I graduated, got my CPA license, and I must have made some sort of impression on some of the faculty there, because a couple of years later, I was asked in 2011, will you come teach one class for us as an adjunct? Because we need people to teach financial accounting, basic debits and credits to the youth of tomorrow. And of course, there is never a stage or a spotlight that I can say no to. So I said yes. Well, one class became two. Two became would you like to be a full-time adjunct? Sure, why not? So then my full-time practice started becoming part-time. I started teaching here. And then eventually, would you like to come be an instructor full-time? Yes, of course.

SPEAKER_01

And that is how I got here. So Tom, just to expand on this a little bit, how was the transition from being a CPA professional to actually being a professor in the classroom at the college level?

SPEAKER_05

Any challenges there? There's not really that much in the way of challenges. Now, of course, it's going to be very different for just about everybody. Let's be honest. My profession is not known for people who are good at speaking in front of groups. My profession is generally known for people who are going to be the quiet one, you know, the one that you're always going to be worried about, that's sitting there in the corner, not being very social at all. I don't know how the he they let me in, but they did. But there's not really for me too much of a transition between talking, working with clients and being in the classroom. Because the nice part is when I'm with the students, I'm explaining maybe one particular thing. And I'm using examples that I've seen over 20 years in public accounting. Whereas when I'm trying to explain this to a client, they generally are thinking, yeah, okay, well, that's all well and good. I don't really need to know that. Um, how is this going to save me money? That is so there's uh the groups just have two different levels of expectation.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So that was it for um talking about your faculty position. Now let's get to know you a little better. Okay. Um so we have a bunch of questions just to get a sense of like interests, uh diversions, things like that um in your life. So we you had said that your family's from Charleston. Were you uh were you originally born and raised here?

SPEAKER_05

I was not born uh born here in Charleston. I am the son of a fourth generation Charleston girl that married a Yankee that worked for the Air Force in 1965, and then their travels took them all over the world along the way. My three older sisters were born, and then five years later, I was born after uh after that. So we lived all over the place growing up.

SPEAKER_01

So what were your activities or interests as a kid? And did did they did they change as impacted to the frequent moves?

SPEAKER_05

Well, they didn't really change that much as impacted to frequent moves, and in fact, there weren't a whole lot of moves. There were only just a few of them. The last move actually came when I was seven years old in 1984 when my dad got sent to the Pentagon, and that's why I pretty much grew up outside of the DC area. Gotcha. But before then, we were all over the place. In fact, as I like to say, I was born July twenty-seventh, nineteen seventy-seven. And exactly three weeks later, the Lord realized that the world was not big enough for both me and the king, Elvis Presley, which is why on August sixteenth, nineteen seventy-seven, the king passed. So of course Elvis has always been an interest. Cooking has always been an interest, and believe it or not, comedy has always been an interest in the world.

SPEAKER_01

So what drew you to Elvis in particular? Because I know that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_05

Well, it always has interested me because I grew up in a house where let's just say there was always a lot of rock music playing, and of course my mom was a huge Elvis fan. Okay. Her father, of course, was a professional jazz musician here in Charleston and the band director at Bishop England High School when it stood where Attlestone Library now stands. He would not let her play her Elvis at home. So it was always interesting. I think she was making up for all that lost time by playing it a lot around the house. And let's just say it made an impression.

SPEAKER_01

Now you said cooking, was that also a a uh an interest as a as a young Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_05

Cause well, I watched a lot of television growing up, and one thing I always liked were some of the cooking shows. And then as I got a little bit older, I was the youngest of four kids, both of my parents worked. I'd get home, mom and dad might not be home till like seven o'clock at night, and I like to eat a it on time. So starting around age ten, I just started realizing, hmm, I can read, I can follow recipes, I can start cooking dinner for everybody, so we can eat on time, and that just led to something I've always enjoyed.

SPEAKER_00

So i is is it right to say that Graceland is your favorite vacation spot?

SPEAKER_05

No, actually, when I was growing up, Charleston was my favorite vacation spot. Okay. Because we lived up in DC. We had lots of family here in Charleston, so we were always coming here to very different city when you used to vacation. You have absolutely no idea how different it is. But then again, it's true. My roots are so deep in this town. I was actually doing some genealogical research recently, and I found that my great-great-grandmother lived in this one particular house. It was actually listed on her death certificate. I looked it up, and it has since been torn down. And on top of it, the Tate Center was built, which means that I essentially am teaching all of my classes in my great-great-grandmother's living room. You've come home. I have very much come home.

SPEAKER_01

That's a great story. You know, we talk a a lot, Chris certainly, Chris and I certainly did when we interviewed each other in the initial episodes, um, because they tend to be very impressionable, are uh the worst or most memorable andor most memorable summer jobs. I'm sure you have one of those you could share with us a little bit.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, of course I do. I remember I had this summer job when I was in high school, and I was doing buildings and grounds maintenance for a 500 unit townhouse community in Northern Virginia. So I picked up some skills along the way, like landscaping, working on the house, how to hold a hammer, how to hold a paintbrush, how to do all sorts of different repairs. Like I said, it was a 500 unit community. And who's home during the day? Mostly retired people or people that really, really need hobbies. So dealing with so many different personalities on a regular basis that would call and complain about the smallest things. That's something that I learned very early on how to deal with difficult people, if you will. But as I look back on it, I can't help but laugh. Because here it was, I'm sitting there trying to do some work, like maybe swapping out a bulb on a streetlight, and somebody's walking their dog and starts yelling at me, telling me that the landscape contractors need to put mufflers on the lawnmowers because it's getting too loud for them.

SPEAKER_01

So let me ask you a question. Did that experience burn you as an adult? In other words, do you refuse to do all the fixing at your own house, or do or do you in fact continue to do so? I continue to do so.

SPEAKER_05

The thing that has burned me most of all is when it comes to, say, balancing the checkbook, I leave that to my wife. Oh, interesting. You know why? I'm staring at numbers all day. What's the whether I'm on campus or I'm at my practice, I am staring at numbers all day and somehow doing accounting. What is the last thing I want to do when I go home to relax? More accounting. Wow. Wow, interesting.

SPEAKER_00

So a bunch of our guests have had favorite first pets or childhood pets. Did you have any any pets? Have any now?

SPEAKER_05

Like, we didn't have any pets growing up, mainly because my father, he was wise in this respect, knew that he was going to be the one that would always end up taking care of us. That's true enough. So now when I got married a couple of years ago, you have to remember I was a single guy living in a luxury apartment on the top floor of a building on King Street. The ver and within a twenty-four hour period I went from that to settling down, living in the suburbs with a wife, a stepchild, and a cat. The cat loves me. And the and the cat and I get along very, very well.

SPEAKER_01

So this is the same cat. You still have the name. What's the cat's name? Charlie. Charlie, okay. Did did you was that the the name your wife gave the cat?

SPEAKER_05

That is the name that my wife gave the cat. And we've been married now, as of this recording, for almost four years. But the cat came with the marriage. And the cat and I get along very, very well. Any additional pets besides Charlie? No, no one additional pets. Okay. Unless you count my Miata as a pet. But that's not really a pet. That's just something I have to turn wrenches on from time to time.

SPEAKER_01

So we we talk a lot about um board games as as youth or any type of games as youth. Did you have a did you like board games when you were you were young? Did you any anyway?

SPEAKER_05

I'm a child of the eighties. Of course I like board games as as a child. Do you have a favorite? Well, probably Monopoly. Okay. And then when I actually learned how to actually play it instead of listening to my sisters who were telling me what to do, instead uh which was going to be of benefit to them, and I realized, hey, wait a minute, that's not going to be helpful for me. I'm going to be out real soon. Then I started getting better.

SPEAKER_01

What do you like about Monopoly, Thomas?

SPEAKER_05

Aaron Ross Powell You do realize that I'm a certified public accountant, right? I I do. That's why I'm curious about what aspect of the game that you like. I think it's the whole I think from a from a young age, I was my brain was wired to be thinking about revenue and expenses and things of that nature.

SPEAKER_00

So do you what's your strategy? Do you like to go for park plays? Do you buy the utilities up?

SPEAKER_05

Well, you're going to get the for me, I like to go for the utilities and the railroads because if nothing else, that's going to be a constant source of revenue.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

And that's something you're going to need in any business. Yes, that's right. A little bit of free advice from your favorite CPA here. Always having a good solid revenue stream that's going to be um there so that to help you fund things such as exchanging one property for another one and so that you can build some houses and hotels upon it.

SPEAKER_01

See, I was pretty reckless with Monopoly. I feel like utility.

SPEAKER_04

I just buy anything that I I bought you, Jesse. I bought whatever I landed on that was free. I was terrible at Monopoly. That was me. I would just no s no skill, no strategy. I was just going through life with it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's the same.

SPEAKER_00

Same with me. Plus the game takes too long. It takes way too long. It feels like it should be over and then it keeps going.

SPEAKER_04

I had a I had a question talking about long. You said child of the 80s. Did you get into any DD at all? No, I did not. Okay. Not a dungeon master. So I had to ask because it was. Okay. You know, post-grad, I hear I we had a team. DD, Dr.

SPEAKER_00

Corey? I tried. I didn't have anyone to play with. It was just me. Yeah. Can't do that solo. You gotta have that. But I like the books. I was big into like all of the creatures. I never got into that realm. I've always been intrigued by it.

SPEAKER_04

Well, we can make a character show. No, no, no, no, no. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

You could set up a game in the provost. No, no, no. All of you need help.

SPEAKER_01

All right. I'll I'll I'll pass on that. Um we're gonna switch gears a little bit um and you know talk about uh grammar school years, Professor Spade. And if you tell us about a fun fact about yourself from your childhood or grammar school years that you think might be uh surprising or amusing to our listeners.

SPEAKER_05

Well, I was thinking about that, and of course you have to remember first grade through eighth grade, there I was in Catholic school, showing up in a shirt and a tie and dress pants every day. Hmm. Not much has changed since then, has it? Anyway, maybe that's why I'm so comfortable in a suit almost every day. This may come as a surprise to all of you, but I might have gotten in trouble a few times for making oh, I don't know, observations in class that were rather amusing. Of course, with my sense of humor, a lot of times it went over most everybody else's head and the teacher got it, but nobody else did. But then again, you're also talking to somebody that, like I said, watched a lot of TV growing up. So when in sixth grade I m or no, it wasn't sixth grade, it was fourth grade, when I make a reference to Geraldo Rivera getting his nose broken on TV last week. Nobody else knew it. I certainly did.

SPEAKER_01

So you you kind of embraced the dress code. I mean, you know, there's there's there's a couple of reactions. I was also a a Catholic school kid. I went to Catholic school in high school. Um very strict dress code. I mean, if you deviated, you got detention. Um it was it was pretty brutal. So but when you graduate, you had one or two reactions. I'm never gonna wear a tie again. Or you're like, hey, I know how to tie a tie. Uh I'm good with it. Or you revisit it later. So you you obviously weren't scarred by the experience.

SPEAKER_05

Not really. And it's interesting that you bring that up because while my father, of course, was working as a civilian for the United States Air Force at the Pentagon, and my mother was working as a high-end makeup artist in the DC area to the celebrities. We had the military-industrial complex on one side and the fashion industry on the other. So I always learned from a young age about dressing properly, taking care of your appearance, things of that nature.

SPEAKER_01

Gotcha. How about same fun fact question from your high school years?

SPEAKER_05

Well, along the same lines in high school, I might have also gotten in trouble a couple of times for bringing pop culture into the classroom, like the time that one of my teachers found that I had designed an entire line of O.J. Simpson action figures, so you could recreate the trial, like with the courtroom playset, which came with free judge Ito. So and Marcia Clark had interchangeable hairstyles, and so you could play along at home with the trial. So and yes, there was also a white four bronco that came with free Al Cowling as well. So all of this stuff, yeah, one of my teachers found it, and I might have gotten in a little bit of trouble over it, but it just showed that I was I am very sorry for the pun, letting my creative juices flow even at that age.

SPEAKER_01

I got so many questions. We've been going for hours on this. What'd you make the figurines out of?

SPEAKER_05

I mean, well, I didn't make them. I just designed an it like a big advertisement. Oh, I got you. So it was it was kind of like G.I. Joe, but it was actually G.I. Juice. But um it was uh but I just designed the whole thing. I didn't actually make the figurines. I got you. Okay. Although I did build a model of a White Ford Bronco.

SPEAKER_04

What what what class was this? Was that relating to the class?

SPEAKER_05

It was not relating to the class at all. I just left it outside of a notebook on the desk one day, and when I uh left to go to the next class, my teacher found it, and obviously they knew it was me, and I, of course, said, How do you know it was me? And they said, Who else would it be? You're the only one that's crazy enough to come up with something like this.

SPEAKER_00

Did it come with a glove guaranteed not to fit?

SPEAKER_05

Um no, it did not. Um it it sh although it should have come with a real glove for you. But um it it now that I think about it, I wish I had thought about that. Mark II, right? Add it to the end. Yes. But the only people that will buy it are all people of my age. And that might not be such a great thing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's good. Um so when you were an undergraduate, you talked a little bit about what it was like as an undergraduate studying accounting?

SPEAKER_05

Well, let's see. I learned as an undergraduate how to be and also how not to be. Because I started my undergraduate career at the University of South Carolina. Now, are you guys familiar with um the campus at the University of South Carolina? Somewhat. All right, Mark. Let me put it this way. The semester I turned 21, I lived in Capstone. Five points was at the bottom of the hill. I spent more time in group therapy than I did going to class. Which is exactly why my undergraduate degree is from George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia, because mom and dad definitely brought me home.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you got here, right?

SPEAKER_05

It's not a I certainly did.

SPEAKER_01

So I mean, you know, that's it, that's important.

SPEAKER_05

Well, once I got home, I was working 40 hours a week and pulling 12 to 15 credit hours each semester, including summers, I was taking summer classes. So it took me a while. And luckily, because I transferred early enough, and also luckily because your GPA does not transfer, when I left Carolina, um I d did not have the greatest GPA. When I graduated, I was Magna Cum Laude. So I got the best of both worlds. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

Does that give you a good perspective on your students?

SPEAKER_05

Gives me a great perspective on the students. In fact, I can always tell them, and I do, listen, I have been where you are before. I see where you're heading. Honestly, I've been there. Um, I had to go through a lot to get to where I am. And if I could do some things differently, I definitely would. But don't be like me. Get yourself straightened out.

SPEAKER_00

So we wanted to ask a little bit about grad school too, which was here.

SPEAKER_05

It was here.

SPEAKER_00

So, you know, as a student, what what can you say about management?

SPEAKER_05

I loved our graduate program. In fact, I'm going to be the first to admit when I came into the graduate program, as I mentioned earlier, I came in thinking to myself, I'm just going to be here to punch a ticket, get 30 credit hours, so that way I can get my CPA license. First off, this program made me so much of a better CPA. It taught me how to think. It taught me how to analyze things. It taught me things that I knew it were going to help me, like to be more analytical, to put more thought into things, to know a little bit more about the history of why we do things the way that we do. And it really just helped me to be much better as a practicing certified public accountant.

SPEAKER_01

We're going to switch to the present now and of course focus on what the topic is of this uh podcast, which is faculty off the clock. And so we'd love for you to tell us about a current pastime, hobby, or activity that you enjoy regularly and how it first started.

SPEAKER_05

Well, I think we've talked one about the main one, which is uh my prowess in the kitchen. And that is one area where I can just relax. If I decide I want to try a recipe, I want to be s somewhat adventurous. Like, for example, a few months ago when I decided I have never made angel food cake, I need to try this. So I went ahead and did. Oh dear lord, that came out amazing.

SPEAKER_01

But um and So how do you approach a a new recipe that you've never cooked before? I mean, do you do you scour the internet for different recipes and then kind of combine them, or do you just stick to one? I mean, what's your appearance?

SPEAKER_05

Sometimes the first time I make it, I stick to the recipe. And I have to say scouring the internet is uh not always the best approach. Sometimes looking at a classic cookbook is a better approach because the internet is full of people that can write anything that they want. Trust me, in my CPA practice, I spend a lot of time telling people and explaining to them why this person that wrote that this is tax deductible is wrong. And when it comes to recipes, half of the time you have people that are typing out teaspoon instead of tablespoon and vice versa, and you're thinking to yourself, there's no way this takes that much salt.

SPEAKER_01

So President Shu's coming over to your house tomorrow night. You've got to pull out the one recipe you are most proud of. What do you cook?

SPEAKER_05

Probably going to be the uh chicken wrapped in prosciutto that's been marinating in white wine for a while. So it's chicken, sage, prosciutto, maybe some bread uh light bread crumbs on top of it. That's baked, and then I'll come up with a couple of sides to go along with it. All right. Generally going to be something from scratch. Um Thanksgiving was a few weeks ago. And let's just say that I'm glad that we didn't have class Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, because I spent all day Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday baking, making things from scratch like cranberry sauce from scratch with fresh squeezed orange juice, which I squeezed, and pies. Wow. Um, like my Granny Smith apple pie. Very impressive. And of course the salted caramel to go with said Granny Smith apple pie.

SPEAKER_01

So, Professor Spade, this episode would be a colossal failure if we didn't explore a little bit more. You made a reference to it before. Okay. Elvis. Yes. And we are aware that there is an off-the-clock activity that involves Elvis, correct?

SPEAKER_05

Well, I do own an Elvis jumpsuit. Now I am not so much of an Elvis impersonator. In fact, I leave the singing up to my Grammy nominated Mezzo Soprano wife. I am not exactly the greatest singer.

SPEAKER_01

So have you ever sung any Elvis songs in your jumpsuit?

SPEAKER_05

Uh yes, I did. One time it was at a fundraiser for the Miss South Carolina pageant. Um that's pretty high profile. Well, it was dancing with the Palmetto State Stars, is what they called it. And so what they did is they got 19 celebrities from around the state and that annoying guy that's on t the TV news every time tax is in the news, that's me. And they paired us all with professional dancers. And so it was at the Township Auditorium in Columbia. And so what happened? We get out, we do our routine dancing, not exactly my forte either, but still pulled it off pretty well. What'd you say? Uh well, what happened was they brought out the microphone that Elvis sang into when he sang there at the township in 1956. And so I'm thinking to myself, I'm in my Elvis jumpsuit. I've got thousands of people in the audience. As we all know, there's never a stage or a spotlight or a camera or a microphone that I can say no to.

SPEAKER_03

Well, since my baby live man, I found a new place to dwell.

SPEAKER_01

And how did the c how the crowd There was applause.

SPEAKER_05

It was polite applause because my again, as we have just discovered, I am not blessed with a singing voice.

SPEAKER_01

So did you do some like Elvis speech impersonating?

SPEAKER_05

There was a little bit of thunger veramuch going on, especially when the judges were giving their feedback. Um but yes, there was definitely a little bit of that.

SPEAKER_00

So what other occasions uh are are uh garner the the jumpsuit?

SPEAKER_05

Aaron Ross Powell The only other time I'm actually allowed to wear the jumpsuit outside of the house is Halloween. Um because So you greet the kids at the door with the jumpsuit? Absolutely. Okay. And they like it. Do they I mean do they know Elvis? Do they recognize the Most of them do, except for one kid that asked if I was Harry Stiles this past Halloween.

SPEAKER_04

Well do you have the do you have a hair piece? Yes, I do. Okay. I was gonna say because otherwise it could be uh it's amazing what you can find on the internet.

SPEAKER_05

Okay. But the jumpsuit is actually an exact replica of one of the King's jumpsuits. And so Amazon? Um no, actually, I found a place that makes them. Um you send them uh you send them pictures of measurements. No, they're out of state. Okay. Um but and I did not tell my wife when I was doing it because when she if I had told her the first question was going to be how much was it? And I'm not even going to mention that because that's just gonna tick her off when she goes back and listens to this. But yeah, let's just say I definitely spent a little bit more than I should have on it. But it is a lot of fun. And yes, if I'm teaching on Halloween, I have taught in the jumpsuit before. Wow. Two rave reviews.

SPEAKER_01

That would be awesome.

SPEAKER_05

Is there There's pictures of it out on the internet, by the way. Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Um In the show notes.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Is there an off-the-clock activity that you'd still love to pursue that you haven't so far?

SPEAKER_05

Well, I've done some improv in the past, and I really wish I had more time to do it. Um back You like the You like the comedy. I love doing the improv stuff, just getting up in front of people, getting on the stage, and of course, just letting my creative juices flow.

SPEAKER_01

When's the last time you've done a comedy improv?

SPEAKER_05

Aaron Powell The last time I did improv was probably about three to four years ago. It's been a while. It's definitely been a hot minute. COVID kind of threw a wrench into it. Okay. Um and then, of course, I got married during COVID, which was actually the best time to get married because I didn't spend a whole lot of money on alcohol for people I don't like. So it worked out great. We had a very small ceremony. But um i but after that, and of course, you know, moving out to the suburbs and everything like that, I haven't had as much time really to devote to it as I used to. I wish I could do it more though.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe we could get a set at the next uh holiday party or something for you. Get a crew together. Yeah, open mine sister. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Well, that is a possibility. Of course, I also wear your jumpsuit to the party. Do you all know I almost wore the jumpsuit today? Uh we were kind of hoping.

SPEAKER_01

But I did wear your spade cufflinks, which is a good idea.

SPEAKER_05

Listen, if you could, you would too. I didn't make the connection.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah. Come on. So good. Yeah. It's fantastic. So you may have actually already given this away, but you know, if you weren't a faculty member, what would you be doing? Improv?

SPEAKER_05

Well, maybe doing improv, but of course I'd want something that's going to pay the bills. So um it so probably. Of course, when I was a kid, I thought, you know, comedy would be fun. Of course, like I said, I watched a lot of TV. So let's just say game show host was high on the board. Oh, I can see that.

SPEAKER_00

So did you have a favorite growing up?

SPEAKER_05

The Price is Right.

SPEAKER_01

I I I predicted that. It would be a great price is right.

SPEAKER_00

We used to watch a lot of the $25,000 Pyramid, which was on bad.

SPEAKER_05

I know, but that had Dick Clark and Dick and now, of course, I do have a lot in common with Dick Clark, as in I still look very, very young, and I know that someday I am going to age all at once, just like he did. Um, all you have to do is just watch the last Dick Clark's New Year's Rock and Eve, and you'll see what I'm talking about. But I I loved the prices right. I loved basically any game show that was on TV. Of course, another thing that I could have also done that I want to do was talk show host. That would also be something else. I mean, we are talking about somebody who, when I think I was nine or ten, I think it was ten when I went trick-or-treating dressed as Geraldo Rivera. So this should not be a surprise. I could never really get into Donahue. There was something about him, it was his voice, it was his approach. I don't know. But sometimes if I am standing around people that are arguing, occasionally I will try to break the ice and quote Phil Donahue by saying, Okay, let's take a few questions from the audience.

SPEAKER_01

So Alright, Thomas, we're gonna move to our lightning round. As you know, these are questions we did not provide you beforehand. That's true. And this is always how we conclude our faculty off-the-clock installments, and so we ask each guest some really important standard questions, again, about your life off the clock. So to start, what's your favorite food? Pizza.

SPEAKER_00

Activity most makes you most happy.

SPEAKER_01

Baking. What activity do you most avoid?

SPEAKER_05

Doing accounting at home. There you go.

SPEAKER_00

Hot dog or hamburger?

SPEAKER_05

Both.

SPEAKER_01

Both at the same time? Like if you're at a barbecue or at the ballpark and say, let me have a hot dog and a hamburger. Yeah. Really? Uh-huh. What do you put on the hamburger?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, m your mustard, mayonnaise, mustard and onions are really the only things that I like. Ketchup, I'm not a fan of. So hamburger. Not even ketchup. Um hamburger over cheeseburger? Well, I would prefer cheeseburger. What kind of cheese? Cheddar.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

If they have it. American cheese isn't real cheese. Still a little bougie. Yeah, but it melts.

SPEAKER_02

Brie? Oh, Pre. Brie. Oh. Bree is fit. Have you ever had it?

SPEAKER_04

I'm sure it's good, but like upsetting. Are you going to like Gordon Randall's? No, it's my house. The best burgers are my house.

SPEAKER_00

Outside of type here. Brie and bacon. I just bacon I can I can go.

SPEAKER_04

Oh no, it sounds delicious. But if you were at a ballpark, I can't get Brie.

SPEAKER_01

So I'm a real snob when it comes to burgers and hot dogs. Like a ballpark, it's all that filler stuff. I mean, it's like I gotta have a really good hot dog craft. Do you have do you have a do you have a choice on that? Or does it matter what kind of hot dog?

SPEAKER_05

Of course it matters what kind of hot dog. I want it it generally I prefer the kosher dogs because they Hebrew National? Hebrew National or anyone. Sabbath makes sense. The problem uh with hot dogs is I don't um like a lot of, say, the cheaper ones because they just they taste kind of terrible. They're gross. Exactly there's a reason why people slather them with all sorts of toppings.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. So what do you put on it uh when you get a a good, you know, hot dog?

SPEAKER_05

Chili. Chili. Mustard, onions. Sometimes not mustard. And of course, occasionally, the secret is when boiling it, throw some jalapenos in the water.

SPEAKER_01

You know, I think I I might imagine this prior. There used to be, or I did it in a private conversation with you, Chris. I grew up in northern New Jersey. There used to be a place in Patterson called Liddy's Lunch. They used to deep fry the hot dogs and then put hot chili on top of it. That sounds like the state fair. Oh my god. They were amazing. But anyway. French fries or potato chips. French fries.

SPEAKER_05

What kind of cut? Depends on my mood. But I like the waffle cut. Like the Chick-fil-A ones? Oh yeah. Waffle cuts. Arby's.

SPEAKER_01

French fries. Ooh, curly fries. The curly fries and ours are good. Yeah, they're excellent.

SPEAKER_04

You gotta have a good waffle fry. You know, like I've I feel like the the floor on a waffle fly fry is a little lower than like a like a traditional like.

SPEAKER_01

So you mean like how long it's cooked? You like more crunchy? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Well, like you could get them like yeah, soggy or something. That's then you're just like too much potato. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

It's gotta have a crunchy. But then again, it's a French fry. It's all it is is potato. And don't even bring the McDonald's fries into this. Here's uh all I can say about McDonald's fries. Leave one under the seat of your car for about six months. No, no. Yeah. It's going to look the same. And if you're adventurous, it will probably taste the same.

SPEAKER_04

Well, they don't maintain their they they wilt in about ten minutes, I find. That's the one thing. Yeah, no, no. I'm not loving it. No.

SPEAKER_00

Alright. Do you have a celebrity crush from your youth? No. You don't? I wish I did.

SPEAKER_01

Wow. Okay. We've talked a lot about this. Wow, that's a first. Jesse, you have a celebrity crush?

SPEAKER_04

I don't think we can go there right now. Did you have one?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we were Kelly McGills and talking about. I like that movie. Probably.

SPEAKER_01

Sunny or cloudy? Sunny. For a sunny day, huh? Oh yeah. I grew up in northern New Jersey. It's cloudy, no rain. It's a beautiful day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

There's a reason why I've driven convertibles most of my life. Sweet tea or unsweet tea? Unsweet tea is not even proper. It's sweet tea or nothing. I can tell I've got a couple of Yankees here.

SPEAKER_01

Well, we already get mad at people like when you're going out to lunch or something and they order an unsweet tea? No, I don't get mad. It's a matter of personal preference, even if you're wrong. Alright. Gotta talk Southern Barbecue. What's your favorite kind of sauce? Mustard, vinegar, tomato based? Mustard. True. Charlestonian. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, well, you've made an angel food cake. Do you prefer cake or ice cream?

SPEAKER_05

Both. They go together so well. Do you always have them together? Well, not always. But when I do, I try to have them together. But the problem is sometimes you don't have the ice cream if you have the cake. But if I if I had to choose one, probably cake. Yeah, preferences on the type of cake, or is it chocolate? Okay. See, the nice part about cake is it doesn't melt.

SPEAKER_07

No, it doesn't. It's delicious too, for the most part.

SPEAKER_05

Well, except for, say, mi and I know I'm gonna tick some people off here, but except for carrot cake, which is not exactly a cake.

SPEAKER_01

Can you please repeat that? What did you say? I said that carrot cake wasn't real cake. You gotta be kidding me. Carrot cake is the best cake. Well, so says you. What don't you like about carrot cake? You don't like the the the carrots getting caught in your teeth? Or what what is it? The texture?

SPEAKER_05

Carrots getting cotton teeth, texture, uh I mean the cake itself kinda tastes kind of funky. It's like spice it's like, say, a fruit cake. I you almost like spice cake. You don't like spice cake? No, I like cake is good too. I can have spice cake from time to time. But if I'm going to have cake, I want something that's going to be sweet and sugary. Wow.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I get pretty sweet and sugary.

SPEAKER_04

I agree with good icing. I do I do see the logic though on like what is the occasion. Because if someone brought out a carrot cake at a birthday party, I might throw hands.

SPEAKER_01

See, our wedding cake is a carrot cake. Like if you came to my wedding, would you not have a piece of my wedding cake? Your wedding cake? I would have had a piece of a carrot cake, yes. Let a local chef make it.

SPEAKER_05

I would have had a piece of the carrot cake. I will not turn down free cake. Be polite. Listen, there's only one thing better in this world than cake, and it's free cake. And I'm not going to turn down free cake.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Alright. Um let's talk about um everybody does it. Is brushing your teeth. And you know, there is a process that varies from individual to individual. Dispensing the paste from the tube. Yes. What is your method of dispensing toothpaste from the tube?

SPEAKER_05

Well, you take your toothbrush, you squeeze some toothpaste onto the brush.

SPEAKER_02

How do you squeeze everywhere on the tube? What do you how do you grasp it?

SPEAKER_05

Well, it depends on where I am with that tube. See, I'm generally gonna go to the middle. But if it starts getting a little bit low, then you start rolling it up from the back. And then I'm still gonna be squeezing it in the middle. And then it's gonna get s there's gonna be less of it. So you gotta keep rolling that up. And then right towards the end, that is when you move to the back to squeeze with your thumb and expel the last remaining toothpaste.

SPEAKER_01

That's impressive. And and at what point have you exhausted the squeeze when you're at the very end of the roll?

SPEAKER_05

At what point? Well, when not enough toothpaste comes out.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, will you go to the extent of cutting the top in order to get the last remnants of the toothpaste out?

SPEAKER_05

That is going a little bit too far. Okay. Well, I go a little too far. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

All right, this is our last question. It's about popcorn. Yes. Uh they don't know, but we are sponsored by Whirly Pop. Yes. Um Do you like it or an off-fit?

SPEAKER_05

Well, I have heard of Whirly Pop, and yes, I like popcorn.

SPEAKER_00

Do you have a special or or a uh a favorite way of preparing it?

SPEAKER_05

Yes. I actually have an old school popcorn popper, one of those electric deals that has the little spinny thing on the bottom. A West Bend stir crazy for those who are familiar. And I will put some uh popcorn in it. Generally going to uh defer to the late great Orville Redenbacher on that one. Um but we or Whirly Pop, uh I'm sorry, we are sponsored by them. But uh then what I will do is uh salt it uh slightly because yes, I have purchased some of that movie theater salt uh that's butter flavored, sprinkle a very small amount upon that, and that makes the best popcorn.

SPEAKER_04

I have the same stuff. It comes in a carton about yay baby. It does.

SPEAKER_05

I was expecting to see a missing child on it when I first bought it, took it out of the box because I am a child of the 80s, of course. And that's what you think of when you see a carton uh carton that looks like a milk carton, but this looks exactly like a milk carton. Or if you're in a festive holiday mood, you know the cartons of eggnog? Oh yeah. The little thin cartons? Yeah, it looks just like one of those. And there's going to be a lifetime supply of that stuff because I only use a very small amount.

SPEAKER_01

So this is the last question of our last question of our lightning run. It's probably gonna be very easy for you. But uh, you're at a celebrity event featuring you. What's your entrance song?

SPEAKER_05

I have absolutely no idea, but probably it's either going to it's either gonna be Elvis or Nirvana, one of the two.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's good. Two good choices. Particular song or just anything by?

SPEAKER_00

Well, Cobain doing uh an Elvis cover?

SPEAKER_05

No, probably not. I don't think it it it that unfortunately never happened, but um no, I actually am not sure uh which one that I think what I'd want to do is set that entrance song to the mood of the audience that I was playing to.

SPEAKER_00

So excellent. Cool. Well, Professor Spade, thanks so much for sharing today about your time off the clock and for giving listeners an alternative glimpse into your life outside the classroom. We really appreciate it. And as a personalized marketing tool that we ask you to display in your office to bring attention to this podcast, we'll be giving you your own bobblehead to represent your lighter side. We're gonna give that to you at a different date since production time has prevented us from getting it to you today. But we'd like to look forward to it.

SPEAKER_05

Chris, I have to ask you your bobblehead is right there. Now, your bobblehead on your arm, it does not have the ink that you're rocking on your arm.

SPEAKER_00

Well, that's true.

SPEAKER_05

You need to get in there with a sharpie, my friend.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, I agree. Good catch, Professor Speaker. And Mark needs to wear it. It's all about the details. His cape next time.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, that that was definitely missing. And we also want to thank Jesse Kunz for uh his work as sound engineer and also uh helping us uh co-host uh this episode.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, thank you.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

So stay tuned for our next installment when we learn more about the life off the clock of another College of Charleston professor. Thanks for putting up with me, all. Thank you. Thank you.